Monday, October 14, 2013

A Story From a Past Blog Entry of mine......

Yes, it is true...and yes it happened to me.

I recently decided to go for a swim. It is nothing out of the has been 100 almost every day. So, I swim. Swim, swim, swim. While I swim I am thinking of a news story last night about how they are short on rabies vaccinations this year. I smugly think to myself, "Well, I will never be in that situation anyway." My how smugness gets one into trouble. Three minutes later I notice a fowl smell emanating from the pool filter. You know the one. The death smell. "Oh, one of the baby birds fell in again and I bet he is in the filter." This is what I think. I open it. I see a sad little floating body and I am even sadder when I see it is one of the babies. I practically raised these babies myself! Ok, I didn't feed them....but theoretically, I was there. Right there. Oh, agony. My broken heart. Then, I reach to get the skimmer....and I see an ear. WAIT! Birds don't have ears on the outside. Good Lord!!! That's a BAT! Well, now. Who's been swimming in rabies NOW? Oh-MY-GOD!!!!!! I rush in and call CDC in the off chance there could be an open cut contact with saliva in the pool water. They put me on hold. They can't find any data. I start to panic. Could I become rabid? Regardless of what my students say, I HAVE NEVER BEEN RABID BEFORE. CDC can't find anything so they give me a State Health Line number to call. I do, wrong number. I think I have awoken a college student in Austin from a drunken stupor. "No Man. This isn't the Texas Health Department." "Thanks. Sorry to have awoken you at 3 o'clock IN THE AFTERNOON." I rush to the phone book and locate the the right number. The longer this takes the more convinced I am that I will soon start attacking my own pets. Or I might need a stake through my heart. Is the sun becoming brighter? It rings. I am beginning to wonder how one cuts off a bat head let alone actually ships it to the health department. UPS? FedEx? Post office. "Is there anything hazardous in this package ma'am?" "Well, it depends on your point of view...." It rings. An answer. "Let me put you in touch with the bat specialist", she says. Did she snicker? Is there really a bat specialist, or are they just humoring me while they pinpoint my location? "No ma'am", he says. "The chlorine will negate any small trace of saliva if he was even rabid. Let me tell you how to safely get rid of the body......".


Anonymous Carrie#K said...

OMG, that's hilarious! I mean, potentially tragic and life changing but luckily, hilarious wins.

Although "Regardless of what my students say, I HAVE NEVER BEEN RABID BEFORE" practically put me on the floor.

19/5/14 16:39  

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